X-Cast – Deadpool, Cable, Psylocke, Domino, Fantomex, X-23, and Forge
X-Force has had many different incarnations in the comics, and the movie version will be borrowing a bit from all as well as forging its own path. One major thing in common with the comics is the edgier tone, reflected in the movie with its R rating. It’s important for this reboot to mix in more R rated movies. I feel it keeps it fresh and different from the Marvel world. This story is also key to the overall big picture, and with the exception of a few hints in previous movies, is actually kind of a prequel for things to come.
This is the sixth movie in my reboot plan. Read the introduction, with links to all the published posts HERE.
We’ve already been introduced to Cable in Deadpool 2. From there we know he came from the future to save the person who becomes the savior of his timeline. We also get hints that he’s the son of Cyclops.
This movie opens in Cable’s future timeline as it looks like it’s about to be erased. Cable has failed. They send back an assassin, X-23 to help Cable succeed (this is how we get the X-23 from Logan into this rebooted universe). She finds Cable and Domino, and the three of them put together a team.
After the full team is assembled, we learn that the savior is a girl named Hope, and she is just a newborn child at this time. When she grows up, she will unite the human and mutant races and save humanity in the process.
We then flash to the future again, only the timeline is different. We are now in Bishop’s future, and we learn that Hope has enslaved the human and mutant population and rules the world with an iron fist. Bishop wakes up in the present time, and the previous scene was a dream as he remembered the full story of what he’s supposed to be doing.
Bishop leaves the X-Men to seek out Hope as X-Force does the same. They come into conflict and a battle ensues. Domino is killed in this battle, but X-Force is simply too powerful for Bishop. Cable makes off with Hope. Bishop, believing he’s saving his future is relentless, chasing Cable everywhere he goes. In the end, X-Force reunites with Cable in a final plan to kill Bishop. The battle doesn’t go their way, but with the technology X-23 brought back, Cable is able to jump into the time stream with Hope to save her.
Before the portal closes, Bishop breaks free from X-Force and jumps in after them. After the credits, we see X-23 getting the portal back open to follow. Deadpool pushes her aside and jumps into the future instead and X-23’s technology is now broken, leaving her stuck in this timeline.
The Fantastic Four can be interesting. I promise you. Their origin story, and most of their earth-bound stories are not where they shine though. The stories that have captivated me most are the ones where they are travelling in space, or travelling through other dimensions, or when they are part of a bigger story that spans through other comics. This is where they shine. This is where we will utilize them.
Mr. Fantastic is a genius that can do so much with his mind and he can be an integral part of so much more. We’ve already been introduced to his potential in Dark Phoenix. There, we also met Sue and their son, Franklin. Franklin is just a kid, but he may be the most powerful mutant in the universe.
The first Fantastic Four movie will be set in space. No backstory, no origin story. They are already the Fantastic Four, and have been a team for a while. The movie opens with a conversation between Mr. Fantastic and Beast. Mr. Fantastic has been studying Tabby’s Star, which has been baffling real life scientists for a few years now. Some speculate there could be a Dyson Sphere (energy collecting solar panels) around it. It will be fun to combine real life science-fiction with this movie.
After the groundwork is laid in the beginning, the Fantastic Four, with Franklin, head out to space to get a closer look at Tabby’s Star. Along the way, they make stops at a few planets and moons with alien life. They learn of a great race that controls the sector of the galaxy where Tabby’s Star resides, and hear rumors of a great war.
When they enter that sector of the galaxy, there indeed is a war. Tabby’s Star is actually a Dyson Sphere used to create power for the great army in their battle against Annihilus. Annihilus’s forces are bent on taking over the entire galaxy, and this sector is the only real threat standing in his way.
Because the fate of the galaxy is at stake, the Fantastic Four become drawn in to help. I think of this movie as a grand space opera with extremely high stakes. There will be a minor sub-plot developing Franklin’s character and hinting at how powerful he will become. In the end, it’s Mr. Fantastic’s great mind along with the rest of the Fantastic Four that are key in defeating Annihilus.
Read the next chapter here: X-Men Reboot: X-Force
I’m combining these two movies into one post because I don’t have much to say about them. Timeline wise, Deadpool is the 2nd movie to be released in the reboot plan & in the actual Fox slate (after New Mutants, before Dark Phoenix). Gambit has been pushed back and has no official release date. This will be the 4th movie in my reboot plan.
X-Cast – Deadpool, Cable, Domino
It honestly doesn’t matter much what they do here. I have complete trust in the Deadpool people. When I originally wrote this, my only wish was that Cable & Domino would be in this one. Since they’ve both been cast (Josh Brolin, Zazie Beetz), that’s proof my trust is justified. We’ll also be seeing the return of Negasonic Teenage Warhead.
Some minor hints to the bigger picture of the reboot should be laid down in this film. First, would be Cable’s backstory of how he came to this timeline from the future, how he’s here to save a mutant who’s destined to save the world, and small hints that he’s the child of Cyclops.
X-23: As the larger story of the reboot grows, we will see Cable pitted against Bishop. In Cable’s future the mystery mutant is the savior, but in Bishop’s, the mutant is the destroyer. X-23 will be an assassin sent from the future to kill one of them. I really liked Dafne Keen’s X-23, and I definitely like tying in Logan (the movie) to this universe. But, I would like to see X-23 in her late teens and Dafne is only 12-years-old. At the very least, we can use Logan as the jumping off point for the character’s introduction. I think this could be a good film to start her story line, but there are a couple other places she could be as well (I’ll point them out as they come along).
X-Cast – Gambit, Psylocke, Fantomex
They cast Channing Tatum for the role of Gambit. Have they written this film already? I don’t know. All we do know is that this was originally penciled in for a 2016 release and continues to be pushed back. Will it be cut? Maybe. But it still has a lot of potential, so it’s part of my reboot plan.
Gambit has potential because he’s one of the coolest X-Men. There was a time he competed with, and maybe even surpassed Wolverine’s popularity in the comics. He’s such a great member of the X-Men, but unfortunately like most X-Men, not quite as interesting solo.
To help boost the potential of this movie, I’m pairing him with Psylocke as Gambit’s partner in thievery and love interest. While I’m aware that Rogue is the natural choice for this, we don’t always have to exactly follow the comics. This love affair will play an important emotional role down the line.
In my opinion, Psylocke may be the best cast superhero since Hugh Jackman, so I’m excited to keep Olivia Munn in this reboot. Obviously I want her to be in this movie, but I really want her to play a large role in it…possibly even take the lead and title of the film away from Gambit.
I think Psylocke is the coolest female superhero in the entirety of comics. I’m a huge fan and was blown away when they cast Olivia Munn. With Wonder Woman proving female superhero success, and the coming Captain Marvel, Fox can have their strong female with Psylocke. She can easily carry this movie as the lead. So if you’re asking me, this should definitely be Psylocke’s movie.
Fantomex will play the antagonist in this movie, but everyone is a thief. The lines between good and bad are blurred with all the characters. I honestly don’t have a direction for the main plot of this movie because for me it’s really about establishing the characters for their stories down the road. Obviously there has to be a plot, but for the purposes of the larger reboot, I’m more concerned with what is established as it works towards the end goal.
Next up is the FANTASTIC FOUR.
X-Cast – Jean Grey, Cyclops, Nightcrawler, Kitty Pryde, Psylocke, Storm, Rogue, Ice Man, Bishop, and Beast, under the leadership of professor X.
This one is super hard to fit in my reboot because it’s already been announced and we already know it’ll be taking place in the 90’s. Yes, stupid ass Fox will just continue down this idiotic path of fucking up all the X-Timelines for…reasons. Also, Dark Phoenix was a story I was saving for the X-Factor movie later down the road in this plan. But Fox signed Sophie Fisher to multiple movies, and she does make an excellent Jean Grey, so they will be continuing their sub-par storytelling.
So here’s what will have to be done. New Mutants will take place in the Deadpool timeline, while this one will take place before that. The final scene of this one will flash forward to the future (the Deadpool timeline) and we’ll be all caught up. The big bonus here is that we can now bring in Storm much earlier than I planned, as well as bringing back Olivia Munn’s Psylocke and Ellen Paige’s Kitty Pryde.
I’m aware of how large this cast is. As you will see though, the large cast is necessary. The X-Men will be split up into multiple teams for the final battle, and this can’t be done with a more traditional sized team. We can also take advantage of the fact that a lot of these characters have already been introduced in the previous X-Film. This will also eventually lead to X-Factor and X-Force spin-offs, so this is a great place to have many of the characters live right now.
The main focus of this movie will be Jean Grey and the Phoenix force, but first, a subplot. Since we have to have a movie set in the 90’s, why not take advantage of it and give the backstory of Bishop here. We all now know and love him from New Mutants, let’s see how he got to our timeline. He will arrive with most of his memory gone about why. He remembers that there will be a mutant from this era who takes over the world and must be stopped. He can’t remember who this was. This will all make a lot of sense much later in the reboot, but for now, just know it’s an important part of the larger story-line all these movies lead to.
The Shi’ar have been tracking the deadly Phoenix force for as long as they have existed, and it has currently brought them to earth. They set up a base on the moon, and we learn about the Shi’ar and the Phoenix Force during early scenes in the movie. We only see hints that Jean Grey has it until a small disturbing event forces it out. For a moment, Jean loses control before Professor X is able to get her back.
Jean Grey brings Cyclops home to meet her parents after this. Professor X thought it would be a good idea for her to have a weekend away. Unfortunately, the Shi’ar have tracked the Phoenix Force to Jean due to the events that just happened. They come to earth, and blow up the Grey house, killing everyone in it except Jean and Cyclops. Saving herself and Cyclops took a lot out of Jean, and she’s unconscious. Cyclops manages to get them to safety, but the Shi’ar believe their mission to be successful.
When Jean & Scott return to the X-Mansion, Jean is still unconscious, but waking periodically. Every time she wakes, she is more the Dark Phoenix. The Shi’ar that attacked the Grey house return to the moon, only to find out their mission was unsuccessful and they send another team to the X-Mansion.
The Shi’ar arrive, but Professor X is able to convince them they don’t need to kill Jean. Together, they can work to both save Jean and destroy the Phoenix Force.
After reading the minds of the Shi’ar, Professor X knows they will turn their backs on the deal at a moment’s notice. He sends Bishop, Psylocke, and Kitty Pryde to meet with a friend that has the capability to escape into space. Introducing Reed Richards. We also get to meet Sue Richards and their mutant child, Franklin, in this scene.
When Jean wakes up and realizes her parents are dead, the Phoenix completely takes over and she becomes Dark Phoenix. She heads straight for the moon to destroy the Shi’ar. The rest of the X-Men board Reed Richard’s ship and head after her.
When they arrive at the moon, the X-Men split up into the following teams:
Team 1: Kitty Pryde & Beast – They stay on the ship, working on a scientific resolution to the problem. Eventually working with one of the Shi’ar scientists.
Team 2: Professor X & Storm- They head to the Shi’ar leadership on the moon to attempt a peaceful, diplomatic resolution.
Team 3: Nightcrawler & Cyclops – They’re tasked with direct confrontation with Dark Phoenix.
Team 4: Psylocke, Ice Man, Rogue, and Bishop – Bishop leads this team on the battlefield, holding back the Shi’ar from killing Jean.
Team 1 comes up with an idea that fails. Team 2 has no luck finding a diplomatic solution, but do stall the Shi’ar. Team 4 is overtaken. Dark Phoenix becomes highly agitated when the Shi’ar push past Team 4 and bring the battle to her.
The end between Cyclops and Jean Grey will match the comics story-line.
The post-credits will flash forward to the Deadpool timeline and we see Sophie Fisher, only she is not Jean Grey, she’s Madelyne Prior.
The next chapter of the reboot plan will discuss the Deadpool 2 and the Gambit movie. Read that HERE.
X-Cast – Bishop & Colossus (Teachers), Negasonic Teenage Warhead (from Deadpool), Cannonball, Wolfsbane, Magik, Sunspot, Warlock, Quentin Quire, and Northstar.
If you haven’t read the intro to my reboot plan, check that out HERE.
As of now, the cast looks to be Magik, Wolfsbane, Mirage, Cannonball, Sunspot, and Warlock. Magic and Wolfsbane have already been cast and I think Maisie Williams will be an excellent Wolfsbane! I would love to add three more to the team: Negasonic Teenage Warhead (for the Deadpool Tie-In), Quentin Quire (he will be important in the larger X-Story throughout the years, and this is the perfect place to introduce him), and Northstar (de-aged as a teen here, and him being the first openly gay character in Marvel comics is important).
At some point there has to be a cameo with Deadpool in a scene with Negasonic Teenage Warhead. Any other cameo would be nice too (maybe even a scene with Maisie Williams and Sophie Turner).
I understand that some of these characters were not actually New Mutants in the comics, but I’m okay with that. Northstar brings important diversity to the X-Cast, and would be the first openly gay hero in Marvel cinematic history. This is the perfect movie for that to happen in, and he’s the perfect character to fulfill this roll.
It’s a large cast, I know. But I really want to use this movie to draw in a whole new, younger audience. I wanted Boomer to be here too, so I did make cuts! This cast of teens will be in school, learning their powers and limits, but still have the typical teen angst. There needs to be a larger cast to accommodate the teachers and make it feel full enough to feel like an actual classroom. But in the grand scheme of things, most of these movies will have a large cast. This has to be worked out in the right way. Ocean’s Eleven had a large cast and it was done right, so it can be done.
Colossus from Deadpool will be brought in as a teacher/mentor along with Bishop. The common theme of the teachers is their constant stressing of the importance in proper training of their powers and learning teamwork. Colossus will be stern and firm, very serious. The students will constantly be trying to get him to laugh, but always fail. Bishop will be more soft and caring. He takes a close one-on-one interest in the kids, learning about them and guiding them. This will play a larger role in the movie plan later down the line.
While the teachers play a role, this film is really about the kids. It’s all from their perspective. The main X-Men team exists, we know they’re out there battling, but we’re watching it through the New Mutant’s eyes. Outside of the teachers, the main X-Cast only shows up in limited, brief cameos. I’d would like to see a scene of them watching the blackbird through the window, off to a mission, with awe in their faces.
As this team of young heroes are learning their powers and how to work together as a team, they will be growing up and working on all sorts of issues. Cannonball struggling with his capabilities to lead the team and the burdens that come with it. Northstar struggling with being both a mutant and gay. Magik struggling to connect and fit in with her peers. Quentin Quire struggling with anger issues.
The team eventually begins to drift into two camps. Quentin, Northstar, Wolfbane, and Warlock are careless, but feel they are ready to be out there. Cannonball preaches that they should be focusing on their training, and the others fall behind him. This leads to a bitter divide and when the big bad is introduced to the plot, Quentin Quire leads his side to strike out on their own.
Quentin’s team quickly find themselves in a battle that’s way beyond their current capabilities. They are defeated in a brutal, one-sided battle. In the end of this battle, Warlock lays dead on the ground.
Quentin abandons the team after this, blaming everyone but himself. Rather than having learned an important lesson, he just becomes more angry. The rest rejoin the New Mutants and work even harder to learn so they can avenge Warlock’s death. They all train really hard, and go back into battle, finally defeating the antagonist.
In the end this large team of 8 will become a more streamlined team of 6. Being the next X-Film to come out, this will jump-start the future of X. Bishop is established in this film, and he plays a vital role in the overall story these movies lead to. Bishop, Northstar, Sunspot, and Dani Moonstar (Mirage) establish a great diverse cast, which is so important.
Next up will be X-Men Reboot: Dark Phoenix
It seems that most of the big water cooler television shows are taking place on cable channels these days and it’s becoming harder for shows to survive on network television. I would like to take a network and rebuild in a baseball rebuilding way. This makes no sense right now, but it will, I promise.
Rebuilding can take a couple of years, but the payoff will be a perennial contender (for the playoffs) for the highest ratings. If I were in charge…
1. The first thing I would tackle is to rebuild the trust of the audience. Much of this idea is taken form an earlier post of mine, https://thehollywoodrant.wordpress.com/2013/03/15/tv-shows-trust/
Investing time in a show, especially a serialized show, that gets cancelled at some point during or after the season, leaves all the viewers with an unresolved cliffhanger. Repeated infractions like this has destroyed my trust. I’m to the point that I won’t even watch a new show until I know it’s successful and will return for a second season. To rebuild the trust, I will promise the audience a 1 or 2 hour movie to wrap up the hanging plot threads of all cancelled shows.
2. Many AMC, cable-type shows divide their seasons in half. While this does give us a long break in the middle that we might not want, it gives us fewer reruns. Some shows even go straight through the half season with no reruns. This is great for me because reruns ruin the momentum of a show. Having a mid-season finale and a mid-season premier gives the viewer more “holy shit” episodes per season. So here I would put all shows on this format and have no in-season reruns.
3. Instead of in-season reruns, I would build in four live episodes. These would be placed one week before the season premier, mid-season premier, and 1 to 3 episodes before the season and mid-season finale. These episodes will be like the Talking Dead. Almost a complete ripoff. There will be a live audience and a panel of actors from the show, as well as a host. They will recap what has happened so far, answer questions from callers and the audience as well as tease what is to come. There will be behind-the-scenes information, stories, and clips. This will give current viewers something more exciting than a rerun as well as bring newer viewers up to speed.
4. Fear the Walking Dead bridges the gap between seasons of Walking Dead. More of this! Obviously this can’t be done for every show, or even a few of them, but doing it for the network’s biggest shows (1 or 2 max) is a good idea.
5. Finally, the reason this should compare with a baseball team’s rebuild: patience. Give a few years to slowly build back that audience. Look at the Chicago Cubs, whose rebuild began four years before their Wold Series Championship. You have to allow time for the audience’s trust to grow. Allow the good ideas to build an audience, and give them more seasons.Don’t be so quick to cancel a show that shows promise. Give shows like this a bit more time to grow. Even Seinfeld wasn’t a big hit in its first season. The Grinder was a good idea, and a funny, unique sitcom. There was a cult audience out there that loved this show. It was not the next Seinfeld, but it could’ve definitely grown bigger.
I get a lot of entertainment surfing the web, so by that, I will fit “5 Ways Verizon Can Improve Yahoo!” into this entertainment blog. So here we go:
- I understand the need to monetize, but looking at the Google news feed, you will see little to no advertising. Now, switch over to the Yahoo news feed, and you will see more advertising than news. As if the giant banner ad, the entire right hand side column, and the occasional automatically playing video I never asked for weren’t enough, they also squeeze in clickbait, or “sponsored” news into the feed. It’s absolutely ridiculous! Anyone that compares the two will quickly turn their back on Yahoo. It’s no wonder no one cares about them anymore.
- The article overlay. Click on an article and a pop-up of the article will appear. This was an awesome concept, but the whole article needs to be there for this concept to work. I don’t want to read part of the article (sometimes it’s just a sentence…the same sentence I read in the article caption), then have to click “read more” to load up another page to read what I clicked for in the first place. Either do this right or don’t do it at all.
- Stop tying in news feed articles you think I want to read, with what I search for in the Yahoo search bar. I don’t want to see a bunch of articles about Kristin Stewart because I searched for “Kristin Stewart’s nude scene” that one time. This makes me scared to search for anything on Yahoo as I think to myself “am I really so committed to this search that I want to see a hundred articles about it over the next two years on my news feed?”
- The left hand side column to shortcuts (finance, style, sports, etc.). I don’t want this. It adds unnecessary clutter. It’s also permanently there, no matter how far I scroll, and I can’t customize it. I will never click on the “style” shortcut, so why can’t I take that option off?
- There used to be a feature where you can click on a little button on the article in the news feed and opt to never see articles like that again. Bring that back. When this was available, I clicked to never see any Kardashian articles in my news feed, and it worked like a charm. What an awesome feature!
I’ve always been a fan of Yahoo! but like many people, I’ve turned my back on them. I check my Google News feed daily, but Yahoo has become a rarity. It can be fixed, but at this point, it will never be as successful as Google. Why not try something different and unique? Either way, stop making it annoying and a burden to use your site. Changing the 5 things above would be a good start.
I grew up an X-Men fan. They were the only comic book I liked, & I read anything mutant. The first couple X-Men films were very exciting, but I was on some level, disappointed in all the solo Wolverine movies (except for the most recent one), and all the X-Team movies since then. Also, I’m obviously not alone when I say the Fantastic Four movies have left a lot to be desired. I argue about this stuff to anyone who’ll listen, and they always ask, “what would you do to fix it?”
Over the next few posts, I’ll be outlining my plan to fix the X-Men Cinematic Universe, which will include the Fantastic Four. This will be a complete reboot, with the exception of Deadpool. This plan will cover thirteen films and take the X-Men all the way to the mid-2020’s.
In comparison to a lot of other super heroes, the Fantastic Four are not the most exciting. They are, however, integral in the Marvel Universe in so many ways. The most boring part about them is their origin and earth-bound stories. This is why their movies have failed. I will be placing them where they are most fun: in space, in other dimensions, or playing vital roles in bigger story-lines.
Franklin Richards, the son of Sue & Reed Richards is a mutant, and a great tie-in with the X-Men. He also plays a vital role in the bigger story of Onslaught, who will be the big bad all of these movies are leading up to.
While I’ve never been a fan of rebooting movies, it has become obvious the X-Men are in a dire need of this. The timelines they’ve played with have made everything ridiculous. Also, a lot of their famous cast are now done.
While Fox has not been very good at making superhero movies, they have been great at casting. That’s probably the reason they held off on a reboot thus far, and is why they have multiple great Professor X’s and Magneto’s right now. I can’t keep all or most of the current cast in a reboot, but I feel like I can keep a few. Sophie Turner’s Jean Grey, Evan Peters’ Quicksilver, and Olivia Munn’s Psylocke are three I’d absolutely love to keep. Three would be tough, and as good as Quicksilver has been, he’s just not necessary to the plan. Northstar (who basically has the same powers as Quicksilver) is a big part of this, meaning Evan Peters can be cut. Olivia Munn wasn’t a major character in Apocalypse, almost like Deadpool was in Wolverine, so she’s definitely doable. Sophie Turner is a bit tougher. I’d love to keep her, but if it can’t be well done, then recast her.
The one thing that’s great about the current X-Universe (other than Fox’s casting) is Deadpool. This is why I want to reboot everything into the Deadpool Universe/timeline. I would utilize Deadpool like how Marvel utilized Iron Man by making him the center of the universe at first.
A lot of people may be screaming right now to just give it all back to Marvel. First of all, that won’t happen, but more importantly, you don’t really want that. Marvel simply can’t and won’t put out that many movies in one year. To truly do the X-Men and Fantastic Four justice, Marvel would need to double the number of movies it releases each year. Does this sound realistic? No.
Freddy Krueger, Darth Vader, and Magneto: My 3 favorite villains of all time, in no particular order. But it’s well known that Magneto has been done to death in the movies. So I’ll be giving him a little break for a while, but he will be an impactful part of the larger story-line.
These movies will press boundaries, and even have a different feel from one another while still tie together. Deadpool & X-Force will headline the R-Rated angle, while New Mutants will have a “teen” feel, taking place in the Xavier School. Fantastic Four will be otherworldly, taking place in space and other dimensions. And the X-Men films will be grand in scope, and epic in outcomes.
One more thing before I get into the actual movie slate. The X-Universe has only one top-tier black character: Storm. Beyond that, Bishop is the only other really cool black character. Bishop will play a major role in my plan, but there’s unfortunately no room for Storm until later. With the exception of the few actual casting suggestions I make, I’m going to stay away from race with the knowledge that they should be casting black, Asian, Latino, and gay characters. Change anyone, it ultimately doesn’t matter to the story, but they need to have a diverse cast. I’m sure there will be some uprising online if they cast a black actor to play Cyclops, but screw those people, it has to be done.
So all that being said, come back to read the plan as it unfolds. My upcoming posts will outline the movie release slate and the important plot points that will happen in them. I do this fully aware that there are X-Movies already in the works, and this plan can be easily amended to accommodate that. For example, has the Gambit movie been shelved? If so, I’ll find another way to reintroduce Psylocke. Is the next X-Film doing the Dark Phoenix story? Fine; because there’s a hundred other great stories to choose from to replace it.
This is part 1 of a 13 part series about this reboot. Below is the slate I’ll be working with. As they are posted, I’ll turn this list into links.
X-Men: Shadow King
X-Men: Onslaught Part 1
Fantastic 4: Part 2
X-Men: Onslaught Part 2
So Facebook was “shamed” into dropping the “feeling fat” emoji. When did “shaming” even become a word we use like that anyway? Someone out there actually thinks Amy Schumer is fat? It’s now inappropriate to laugh at fat people at buffets?
I don’t get it all. Amy Schumer is not fat. And if she were, what would that make Kim Kardashian? Speaking of the Kardashians, if they’re famous for being famous and contribute absolutely nothing to your entertainment except for occasional paparazzi photos, then why do they sometimes cover their faces with their hands?
But what I’m really trying to say is: Amy Schumer is hot. You show me a guy who says he wouldn’t bang her and I’ll show you a goddam liar. But it’s more than that. Sure, Rihanna is slimmer and most people would consider her “hotter.” And yes, I would absolutely love to bang Rihanna…but I’d date Amy Schumer. I think you and I both know Rihanna would probably get on your nerves at some point. She rarely ever smiles and just doesn’t look like a fun and happy person…ever. Amy Schumer is funny. She’d make you laugh, and it looks like she would be fun to just hang out with as well as bang.
When Maggie Jordan from The Newsroom was about to leave for Africa in Season 2, she had to recite the fact that, if captured, ACN would not set precedent by paying a ransom. This is the duty of America: to never set a precedent by giving in to terrorist demands. Sure, paying a ransom will get back the people alive, but it emboldens all future terrorists, and in the long run, the ramifications of setting precedent will be much worse for everyone. That’s why ACN in this great, great television show knew that it’s not just America’s duty, it’s everyone’s duty.
Sony has set precedent and it was the worst possible decision they could’ve made. Now and forever, every fat kid in his mother’s basement with an axe to grind and a computer will think he or she can control what movies come out and when, what television shows get shown or cancelled, and pretty much anything else. Who will be the first hacker to hold McDonald’s hostage until the McRib becomes a permanent menu item? Who will be the first hacker to hold Chick-fil-A hostage until they open on Sundays? Hey, I want a 4th season of The Newsroom…is there someone out there willing to hold HBO hostage until they put this in production?
We now have a group of hackers demanding The Interview never be released or leaked and another group of hackers demanding the opposite. What will Sony do now? Which group of hackers will they cave to? Can we now demand Sam Jackson to say “get these mother fuckin’ snakes off this mother fuckin’ plane” in Avengers 2 and every other movie he stars in? Can we just get Sam Jackson to cameo in every Sony movie just to say that line? Hell, why don’t we just let hackers control what we see and don’t see for the rest of time!