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2013 MOVIE WRAPUP

As I rant about my least favorite movies of the year, I won’t poke fun at The Lone Ranger, because I knew it would suck long before it came out, so I decided not to watch it. I also won’t bash R.I.P.D. because even though I agree with what most of the haters say about it, I still found it an enjoyable movie. I know this somehow makes me less of a person; I mean who could like R.I.P.D., right?

I still feel like all of the robots and monsters in Pacific Rim were walking on water; it still doesn’t make sense to me that the government would halt production of the robots before they knew the wall would work; and I still cant figure out why the robots waited so long to use the truly devastating sword.

I honestly can’t say too much bad about Man of Steel. Superman is a hard movie to pull off in this day and age and I think they did a fine job. Did I love it? No, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. I like how they didn’t mess around with Louis Lane not knowing that Clark Kent was Superman and the part of the movie that took place on Krypton was visually cool.

I wanted to like The Hangover 3 so badly. I just didn’t.

While I have yet to see Carrie, I’m looking forward to it. It confounds me that this movie didn’t make more money. It came out in October and had no horror competition. I mean seriously, Carrie was the ONLY big horror movie to come out in October! How did it not make at least $50 to $75 million?

The original Red Dawn was one of my all-time favorite movies, so I was skeptical of a remake. But I did enjoy Tomorrow, When The War Began, so I did reserve some hope. I was pleasantly surprised by this one. They made it new enough to feel relevant and fresh, but paid enough homage to the original to not piss me off.

I still have the DVD of Alex Cross that I borrowed from my neighbor 5 months ago. Even though he has since moved out, I still haven’t gotten around to watching it. I’m just not excited for it at all. And no, I don’t feel bad about not returning it because that guy broke my lawn mower.

World War Z was the only movie that actually got me into the theaters this year, and it didn’t disappoint one bit…but The Walking Dead still does zombies the best. Some might say The Walking Dead has an unfair advantage because it’s not a story contained in a two hour time frame, but I disagree. The longer story arcs of television, give the show a lot of time to mess up and be boring. Somehow, with the exception of the first half of season 2, The Walking Dead has been perfect.

But the absolute worst movie of the year, and maybe the worst movie of all time, was Spring Breakers. I was so excited about this one. Spring break, hot girls with guns and ample bikini time, how could this fail? It did. I wasn’t expecting much from this movie; I was going to give it a lot of leeway from the start, but this plot was so thin. One third of the movie was girls leaving voice-mails for their family, one third of the movie was a bad MTV video that never ended and one third of the movie was Alien yelling “SPRING BREAK Y’ALL!”

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