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I’D LIKE TO BANG (AND DATE) AMY SCHUMER

So Facebook was “shamed” into dropping the “feeling fat” emoji. When did “shaming” even become a word we use like that anyway? Someone out there actually thinks Amy Schumer is fat? It’s now inappropriate to laugh at fat people at buffets?

I don’t get it all. Amy Schumer is not fat. And if she were, what would that make Kim Kardashian? Speaking of the Kardashians, if they’re famous for being famous and contribute absolutely nothing to your entertainment except for occasional paparazzi photos, then why do they sometimes cover their faces with their hands?

kardashian She’s not even doing a very good job hiding? I mean, at least act like you’re trying!

But what I’m really trying to say is: Amy Schumer is hot. You show me a guy who says he wouldn’t bang her and I’ll show you a goddam liar. But it’s more than that. Sure, Rihanna is slimmer and most people would consider her “hotter.” And yes, I would absolutely love to bang Rihanna…but I’d date Amy Schumer. I think you and I both know Rihanna would probably get on your nerves at some point. She rarely ever smiles and just doesn’t look like a fun and happy person…ever. Amy Schumer is funny. She’d make you laugh, and it looks like she would be fun to just hang out with as well as bang.